London, UK - On the eve of the much talked about "Royal Wedding", 750 million people are expected to tune in because they "have nothing better do be doing" when it will be aired. The wedding is scheduled to kick off at 3:00 AM EST. The actual ceremony however will take place at 6:00 AM after a brief halftime break.
"I'm really looking forward to watching this wedding," said wedding crasher Jeremy Grey. "They're going to have crab cakes at the reception! How can you not have fun eating crab cakes?"
Television sponsors are also looking forward to the Royal Wedding. Doritos and Budweiser reportedly spend one-million-dollars each for their thirty second commercials.
Although hundreds of millions of people and little girls are looking forward to watching the wedding, the rest of the world will celebrate joyously after it is over for the fact that they will no longer be hearing about the royals on every news program, news website, newspaper, news magazine, news radio, and movie trailer previews 24/7.
Unfortunately, the news media is fascinated with royalty (reporters and media outlets have long been on the road to serfdom), and after the wedding, they'll give blow by blow details of the honeymoon (hopefully no chickens will die to provide the bloodspot on the rag to show she was a virgin on the wedding night). Then there will be reports of affairs and other shenanigans on the covers of all the tabloids lining checkout isles in every grocery store the world over. Bah! Humbug is all I have to say about royalty!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! You're absolutely right Tim! Although they are considered "royalty" their lives probably aren't that great considering what they have to go through with the media.
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